By Molly Smith
Photography By Sophia Myers and Jordan James, Styled By Lily Hempfling
Dating in the 21st century is like playing a game of poker. A skilled player knows how to bluff and knows when their opponent is bluffing too. But what happens when you can’t tell if they're bluffing? When they’re constantly throwing in chips, upping the ante, leading you to think they’re all in, only to throw In their cards the very next moment.
“Ghosting” has become an all-too-familiar phrase in our lives.
What happened? Who came up with these arbitrary rules? Why do we keep playing by them?
When I was a little girl, I devoured every romantic movie possible. Kate Hudson, Emma Stone, and Rachel McAdams were my idols, and "The Notebook" was my Bible.
Every night at the dining room table, I’d ask my parents how they met, how they fell in love, and how they knew they were each other’s “one.” Every time, I heard the exact same story—but it always felt like the first time.
I was in love with love, and I believed that this was what it’d be like when I finally met someone. I was painfully naïve, and a diehard romantic.
As a senior In college, I can tell you just how wrong I was.
It’s a Tuesday in Oxford, Ohio: I’m sitting in Kofenya waiting for my friend to meet me for coffee and a catch-up.
She rushes through the door, frantically finds my table, and lets out an exhausted sigh as she sits down: I can already feel her panic.
“So, there’s this guy,” she rambles. “We met two weeks ago, he asked for my number, and we haven’t stopped texting since. He says he wants to take me out to dinner, be his girlfriend, and meet his family.”
She goes on to explain that just a week after the budding romance began, he went radio silent, never to be heard from again.
I shake my head. I know this story like the back of my hand.
Ghosting is the antithesis of the whirlwind romances our parents and the movies promised. No one wants to enter a relationship fearing they’ll wake up one day to find the other person gone. How did we get here? Are we so emotionally detached that we believe a simple disappearance is an acceptable way to end a connection?
As my friend continues to hash out the woes of her experiences, I can’t help but feel a sting of frustration. Why does navigating a dating landscape today feel more like a minefield than a romantic playground? We’ve swapped the heart-fluttering meet-cutes for half-swipes and games.
I’m exhausted, and I know I’m not the only one.
Comments