'Thought Daughter': On Intellectualism, Individualism, and Identity

By Katelyn Phan

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In response to the question, “gay son or thot daughter,” the internet birthed a new archetype for women: the thought daughter. The thought daughter embodies intellectualism. She is a critic of culture, lover of books, and of course, adores the depth of Taylor Swift’s lyrics. One of the foundations of being a thought daughter is the inherent desire to overthink. As the trend started to grow, the line between overthinking and obsession started to blur. While the trend was loved by many, it flattened the root problem: the romanticization of mental illness and slapping a fun label on it.

The thought daughter highlights an expectation exemplified by social media: to be a woman is to perform. Social media pushes users to commodify themselves, or “brand” themselves, in order to be digestible for others. Instead of being someone who struggles with anxiety, women transform these feelings into a quick and cute 15-second video to be #relatable. On top of the relatability, it has to be poetic.

The thought daughter leans into overthinking and spiraling. It’s not exactly about having anxiety — it’s putting a color-grade on one’s feelings and slapping Lorde as the backtrack. The thought daughter doesn’t just cry — she cries walking through the train station with her wired earbuds and a copy of A Little Life tucked into her tote bag.

The word “daughter” alone creates an essence of youth. It illustrates women as dependent and incomplete. Similar to the manic pixie dream girl, she is only an idea. She can only be messy; she cannot be whole. Overthinking is exhausting. Anxiety can be all-consuming. These things shouldn’t be reduced to 15-second videos and short captions. #thoughtdaughter

The new labels that the internet spits out every three months commodify aspects of women, leaving her fragmented. Identities aren’t trends, and individualism is not a selling point. Anxiety isn’t pretty, and intellectualism does not need to be performed.